The lived experience of persons who attempt suicide: a bottom-up review co-designed, co-produced and co-written by experts by experience and academics

Abstract

This is the first bottom-up review of the lived experience of persons who attempt suicide. The study has been co-designed, co-conducted and co-written by experts by experience and academics, focusing on first-person narratives within and outside the medical field. The lived world of individuals who attempt suicide is characterized by experiences related to the attempt itself ("contemplating suicide as a deliberate death", "contemplating suicide as an escape route", "looking for online answers about suicide", "planning suicide", "finding rest between the suicidal decision and the final act", "changing one's mind during the suicide attempt", "acting on suicidal impulses"); experiences related to the self and time ("feeling unworthy", "feeling detached from oneself or the world and lacking a sense of agency", "splitting the self between the decision to live or die", "perceiving an abortive and doomed future"); and experience of emotions and the body ("feeling overwhelmed by hopelessness and despair", "feeling empty and drained of energy", "feeling alone"). The lived experience of individuals who attempt suicide is also described in terms of the social and cultural context, including the experience of others ("feeling that no one cares", "feeling like a burden to others", "facing others' difficulty in understanding"); cultural, gender and age differences ("experiencing geographical, cultural and religious taboos about suicide", "feeling inadequate in relation to gender stereotypes", "feeling abandoned in old age"); and the perception of stigma ("facing social stigma", "experiencing a stigmatized self", "silencing suicidal behaviors"). The lived experience of persons after an attempted suicide is characterized as a complex process of self-acceptance and rediscovery ("living with suicidal thoughts", "navigating the challenges of recovery", "gaining new perspectives during recovery", "restoring interpersonal relationships to recover"). Finally, the lived experience of individuals who attempt suicide is described with respect to their access to general health care ("seeking help before the suicide attempt", "feeling abandoned after a suicide attempt") and mental health care ("experiencing shame as a barrier to care", "fearing mental disorder label", "feeling accepted and listened to", "facing economic difficulties in accessing support", "coping with distress during hospitalization"). The experiences described in this paper hold educational and social value, informing medical and psychological practices and research, public health approaches, and promotion of social change. This research overcomes embarrassment, fear and stigma, and helps us to understand the fragile nature of our emotions and feelings, our immersion in the social world, and our sense of meaning in life.